Now let us look at more examples of Memory Gaps in the mind, creating insecurity, doubt, fear and suffering. In the earlier example of such a situation, in the previous post, it is only a temporary situation for a ordinary man having Non-Fragmented mind, where he does not feel Divided within, when he 'Thinks'. He regains the Memory quickly to understand the situation.
But there may be situations, where one's Memory Gap may not regain, leading to perpetual Fragmentation of the mind, thus 'thinking' always generating insecurity, doubt, fear and suffering. Hence, one may not like to think, and view the 'Thinking' as an alien process, as 'Not Me'. This is the situation of Krishnamurti.
If one's mind is Fragmented due to either Memory Gaps or any other mind Attributes being missing, continuously, it may be happening throughout his life, even beginning from the birth or early childhood, which is the case, I think, for Krishnamurti. Then those childhood experiences would be the strong reasons, where insecurity, doubt, fear and sufferings would have got established in K's Mind.
Quote Krishnamurti:
Krishnamurti: Let's forget childhood memories and all that nonsense, and come to the present. Here you are, and you say you are not frightened now; you're happy for the moment and can hardly imagine the fear you were in. Why have you no fear now? Is it the quiet, clear, well-proportioned room, furnished with good taste, and this sense of welcoming warmth which you feel? Is that why you are not frightened now?
Chapter - Fear. Book - The urgency of Change
End of Quote.
Is it not funny that K saying, "Let's forget childhood memories and all that nonsense"? K speaks of Conditioning as the past knowledge of memory. Does not childhood memory of knowledge, hurt, rejections, acceptance, etc. also included in it. Here, remembering his own past of childhood conditioning, which were not pleasant, Krishnamurti do not want to discuss them with the Questioner, as it would bring his own childhood memories. Is not K saying, "all that nonsense" very significant, indicating his hate for it.
So if the memory gaps happens to be a continuous process, beginning from birth or childhood, then insecurity, fear, doubt, suffering, etc. would have got instilled in the mind, in early childhood, when one start to interact with others. That is when one would have feared to 'Think', and if 'Thoughts' to appear in one's mind, that is the time, one would have started to view the 'Thoughts' as something alien, as 'Not Me'.
Let us take an example:
On a special occasion of festivity, young child Krishnamurti is with his family and family friends who are visiting K's house. All are seated with K, young as well as old. They are served with some sweets on this Occasion. K finishes all the sweets and goes out for a call of nature.
When he returns back, and by the time, the Memory got erased or either it did not get resisted at all of the gathering, where he was, and having sweets, hence, there is no possibility of regaining the memory.
K - Why are you all here? When did you come here (to visitors)?
Others - (laugh, K is hurt).
K - Can I have some sweets as well?
Others - (laugh more louder, K is more hurt, feel divided without). You just finished enough of sweets, why do you want more?
Now K doubts his own thinking of "I did not have sweets", as he had similar experiences earlier, hence K does not protest. And in trying to cope with the situation, insecurity, fear, suffering arises in K. He runs to his room and tries to contain the 'thoughts' arising and in that situation, K feels the 'thoughts' are the cause of his suffering and feels them as alien, 'Not Me', as a solution. This creates the Fragmentation in his mind.
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